Pride
They say that it is easier for a proud person, but in reality they are much more complicated, because from all situations such people have to get out independently. And as you know, in life there are such cases when the untrained hand of a loved one simply can not do. Why does such a type of people refuse to accept the proposed assistance? The fact is that pride is both a positive and negative character trait. A proud person can simply fall in his eyes. And in his opinion, this is what happens when he takes someone's help. If many people perceive help as absolutely normal, and some treat it as a proper thing, then a proud person perceives help exclusively as a personal insult. He sees in this the neglect and neglect. It seems to him that in this way others point out that he is weak, that he can not do something on his own. Proud people can understand that their judgments are wrong, but they will still do the same. They simply can not behave differently, because they are accustomed to this type of behavior. Therefore, it is possible that your loved one is too big, that's why he can not force himself to accept help from you. And how much you did not put pressure on him, did not scold him and did not explain, it will not change anything. He will continue to behave in this way, but in the end he will also resent you, but you do not want to enter his situation. Therefore, if you understand that a person needs help, try to help, but so that your loved one does not understand where it comes from and takes everything as a lucky coincidence. Just this way you can do something for him. Otherwise, you will always have to come across a refusal.
Deterioratedhuman dignity
In this case, it will only be about the guys. By the way, it is men who refuse assistance most often. It is easier for women to cope with pride, and with their complexes. Men are very difficult to accept help if in their childhood or adolescence they were vaccinated with a complex, calling them rags, girls, humiliating their honor and dignity. Growing up, such a guy is constantly subconsciously afraid that he will again be considered weak, incapable of anything. Therefore, when you offer assistance to such a person, he involuntarily begins to think that if you take it, especially from a woman, it will become what it was once called. And from such memories the man becomes very painful and most of all he sings, he does not wants everything to happen again. That's why guys refuse to help themselves and want to solve problems on their own. It seems to them that in this way it is possible to prove their masculinity and strength. And it does not matter to guys at all whether you think of them as real men, because unfortunately they do not consider themselves like that. And in almost a hundred percent of cases, the judgments of young people about their own person are fundamentally wrong. It is these guys that are strong, fair, true defenders and assistants, kind and brave. But due to the fact that once other children did not consider these qualities, and the kindness and desire to help took a weakness, now the man constantly has to prove to the whole world that he is capable of much.
Unfortunately, such a world view is very difficult to change and correct. If a person during the period of the formation of his psyche was constantly driven into the head by the opinion that he was a weakling, then after a few years, becoming a very grown man, such a young man, remembering what had happened to him, begins to prove to the whole world his strength. As a result, it is these guys who suffer badly, because they always try to solve even the problems that they can not solve. The desire to constantly prove to the whole world that they are worth something, make these young people refuse to help, even when they understand that it is worth accepting. Such a guy will say that he is better off without money and will starve, than he will take on debt, because he will show that he is not a real man who can earn enough money and properly manage his money. Therefore, if you want to help somehow such a person, do not need to tell him directly that your actions are help, beat situations so that it would appear as if he does not need it, and you can not simply live, if something is not for him will do. Most likely, in the deep, a young man will perfectly understand how things are. But he feels so much easier, and he, reluctantly, will still accept your help.
I do not want to be in debt
Some people do not accept help, because they do not want to be obligated to someone. There are two reasons for this:
- people often faced situations when people offered help, and then started to demand a lot in return. Or they said that they do everything just like that, but at the same time, after a while they always tried to get some kind of self-interest. In this situation, people simply refuse to accept something from even the closest ones. It's just that they already had situations in their lives, when bosom friends rushed to help, and then behaved as if they had acquired their friend in slavery. And watching a similar situation, many simply decide that it is better to deal with their problems on their own than then try to repay their whole life to one who considers himself a great rescuer and almost master of the soul of the saved. People who come across such "assistants" are quite understandable, since bitter experience, as you know, is the best and is remembered all my life.
- the person himself does not want to help anyone, therefore he tries not to be in any way obligated to someone. In this situation, you face the usual "Scrooge", who is afraid to spend an extra penny on the near and to raise a finger for someone. Such a person will better himself wither away from problems than to agree to help, because in the future he will be able to ask for something. If you are confronted with this particular individual, then believe me, your efforts are in vain. Such people generally do not deserve someone else's help. They are too mercantile and misers not only in financial affairs. Such people are also economical in their feelings, so do not worry about them, since people certainly will never think about the Vastaka.