- Sexual revolution. People no longer wanted to marry in order to have sex legally.
- Emancipation. The fighters for equality of the sexes attacked the traditional marriage, blaming it for sanctimonious morality and the deliberately humiliating position of the wife obliged to be with her husband.
- Economic reasons. They exerted their influence on the relationships of people before, they still have today. People are not in a hurry to enter into an official marriage because of the disorder of life - lack of housing, stable income. As a result, the number of civil unions is growing as a less responsible form of cohabitation.
Many for
People prefer to live in a civil marriage, because:
- they just want to live together and love each other, not thinking about how long this relationship will last.
- want to reasonably approach the creation of a family: first try to live together and understand whether they are suitable to each other, and if it does, then already and sign.
- civil marriage is free from social stereotypes of the times of house construction, the spouses themselves create relationships that are comfortable for them.
- in a civil marriage, each of the participants feels themselves a free person, and not the property of the other spouse.
- believe that with the appearance of a stamp in the passport, romance and sexuality leave the relationship.
- want to avoid officialdom, as well as possible legal procedures for divorce.
- are afraid of mistakes in choosing a partner and are not going to put a cross on a more happy arrangement of their personal lives, leaving themselves a loophole for freedom.
Many people do not accept this form of relationship, because:
- when children are born, problems may arise: one will have to adopt one's own child.
- excessive sexual freedom is harmful and will inevitably lead to debauchery.
- if "spoil" each other with civil relations, then after their legalization the marriage will fall apart, unable to withstand the contrast.
- at such marriage there is a sensation of psychological vulnerability, fragility of the position, and also complexes of type "if he does not make to me the offer, means, I am unworthy"
- Influence fears of public opinion, prejudice.
- this form of relationship does not always promote career growth.
- at "divorce" they will remain without the legally prescribed part of the jointly acquired property.
- often the initiator of such a relationship is a man, and a woman reluctantly obeys and this greatly traumatizes her.
- many women want to put in their lives the happiest moments: a wedding car, a white dress with a veil ...
Within the concept of "civil marriage", the most diverse models of the joint existence of men and women coexist. There is only one thing that unites them: the absence of legal registration.
- Love-match. Almost the same as official marriage: a man and a woman call themselves husband and wife and live in love and harmony, may have children, but relationships for some reason do not formalize.
- Open marriage. In it, each of the spouses himself disposes of his finances, has the right to openly start lovers (however, such variants are also found in traditional families).
- Trial marriage. This is a form for inexperienced and still financially unsuccessful people, that is, for young people who have a desire to have regular sex and the desire to get the experience of living together for the further creation of the family for real.
- Temporary marriage. In the West, this is called "having a boyfriend." Such relations do not oblige to anything special, it is a way to arrange for a while a personal life - for the period of study, business trips.
- Economical marriage. This scheme is used by people who once already burned on the division of property during the divorce and now do not want to register a relationship, fearing "getting on the money."
How successful is a civil marriage depends on what kind of relationship exists between people and for what reason they do not register their union. If they have a warm and trusting relationship and decided to live in a civil marriage together, then why not? In such a family, partners understand that their happiness does not depend on a certain stamp. And if the union stands the test of time, sooner or later (usually at the birth of the child) the marriage is registered.
To formalize relations or not is your own business. If the status of a civil wife suits you and you are happy in a marriage, then the opinions of other people who think that it is wrong to live like this, you simply should not worry. If the absence of a stamp in your passport bothers you, then first try to understand the reason for this. You feel that you are not a real wife, but a disfranchised partner, want to have a baby, but are afraid that this will put an end to your relationship and you will become a single mother? Then try to change the situation: discuss all this with your husband, trying to be as tactful as possible and not to put pressure on him (remember: men do not seek to run under the crown). If you care about the statements of relatives and friends, then change your attitude: stop thinking that the marriage certificate will guarantee your peace and happiness - it is not that.
The women's question: the exchange of proposals.
Few women will come up with the idea to make a man. And he is unlikely to take this normally. The principle of the "first step" is still better to observe. Before you start living together (even in a civil marriage), it is better to wait for the offer of a hand from the man. Ideally, a man should offer a woman to marry him, and she, having shown wisdom, can offer to start to try to live together. If a man says that he does not intend to marry you, but he would arrange to live with you for a while, think: maybe it's better to refuse? Do not think that he will ever change his attitude to you.
The children's question: the main thing is to love.
Some believe that civil marriage can negatively affect children. Only frankly bad relations (which is not uncommon in ordinary families) can psychologically affect children. Sometimes children do not even know that mom and dad are not painted. Among well-to-do families, where children feel comfortable and receive a positive experience of family life, a large number of civil marriages.
Legal issue: we do not know our rights
A union of a man and a woman is considered a civil marriage if the couple lives together and leads a common household for a month. Civil marriage has a genuine legal force. But in order to prove the legal status of the spouses, it is necessary to enlist the testimony of neighbors and acquaintances: they must confirm that the couple led a joint farm. Civil spouses have the same rights as spouses lawful: the right of inheritance, the receipt of half of the jointly acquired property, etc.
Digest
Surveying more than 4,000 people, English scientists have proved that the concepts of "happiness" and marriage for male psychology are incompatible. According to their forecasts, with time, the traditional family should be replaced by the so-called serial monogamy - when a man, not marrying, lives first with one woman, then with another, a third, and so on.
According to statistics, 18% of Russian women believe that official marriage is not necessary - "it would be nice to be close", 27% recognize that marriage still gives the woman confidence, and 29% are convinced that marriage is simply necessary for the full-fledged education of children.
According to the last census, of the 34 million married couples, 3 million are married. The presence of a stamp in the passport makes 69% of women happy. And among women who live in a civil marriage, only 40% consider themselves to be happy.