How to refresh feelings

You are married not for the first year, and your marriage is quite prosperous, but you notice that there is no previous passion, and you are less and less engaged in love, because you are tired, and there are no new sensations. Everything is familiar and beaten. Maybe everyone is like that?


It turns out, no. Many married couples admit that after experiencing such a crisis of sensuality, they were able to discover new horizons. How? Here are some tips that are offered by well-known sexologists, psychotherapists and simply "married couples with experience".


1. Sex is a feeling


A famous sexologist Dilya Enikeeva compares sex to a singing duet: "Singers can sing in unison, but they can lead each of their parties. If they are singing, then their voices will have a different sound than the solos. In a good duet both participants subtly feel a partner. If one wants improvisation, the second one will be easily adjusted. "

Of course, sex at thirty is not at all what sex is at eighteen. In youth everything is easier - hormones play in the blood, you can stay up all night, and in the morning be a fresh rose, there are great hopes and plans ahead, and you are as beautiful as Aphrodite.

Over the years, along with beauty, self-confidence also escapes (especially if the beloved husband periodically reminds you of extra pounds and wrinkles), the efforts about the family are consumed by all forces, and the body itself begs to set aside an hour for sleep, and not for sex.

But still, sexual satisfaction is primarily related to overall satisfaction with marriage. If the spouses are satisfied with their intimate relationships, this creates a background on which their relations develop in other spheres. This background influences the success of these relationships, and satisfaction with sex, in turn, depends on these relationships.

What to do? To begin with - honestly answer yourself to the question: is everything good between you in everyday relationships? If not - look for that starting point, which began the discord, and close the emotional gap.


2. Pamper each other!


In one of the songs of Vadim Egorov there is a wonderful phrase: "The love that we most like most of all for those who love us is the most!"

Paradox: we do not forget to blame for the husband all the troubles accumulated during the day, we make claims, pull down at friends. And where is the tenderness? Spouses who do not forget to express tenderness and love to each other, as a rule, do not grow cold to each other and in bed.

How long ago did you give your husband coffee in bed? And when was the last time he rubbed your back in the bathroom? Do you walk in the evenings at the moon?

Each family has its own "recipes" over time. The more often you show each other your positive emotions, the stronger your sexual ties!


3. Tired bodies are engaged in tired sex


Who among us, married ladies, did not fall into a situation where one wants to sleep because of fatigue, and the husband suddenly takes the initiative? You refuse - the husband is offended, you agree - you lie tortured, and irritation rises in your soul: what does he want? And it happens the other way round: you go to him, and he has a "headache"!

What to do? Give each other the opportunity to relax.

I have married couples "with experience" who have solved this issue (again each in their own way!). Some send their children to the grandmother and on Saturday ask not to get them by phone calls and visits. Others - those who do not have to rush to work by eight - endure sex in the morning. Still others, on the contrary, put children to bed and pay attention to each other from ten to midnight. My old friend says that for her, sex is measured not by quantity, but by quality: even less often, but "in full"!


4. Leave the problems behind the threshold!


Do not drag service problems into the house. Do not take home documents that you did not have time to see at work. Phone calls to the girl-friend in length in one and a half hour too can be postponed.

If you are waiting for an important call, use an answering machine, now it is not a problem to purchase it, and you will save a lot of precious time and spiritual strength, having rid yourself of unproductive communication and many trivial matters.

If on this day you have a lot of unresolved service problems, it is better not to plan for this evening of intimate relationships, because the thought of what has not been done will not give you the opportunity to relax.


5. Sometimes it is worth notifying your intentions to your husband!


If you tell your spouse in the morning: "Dear, we have an evening for sex today!" - then this is one attitude. And if you are already in high spirits in anticipation of a pleasant evening, and during the work you will call your husband several times, saying that you are looking forward to the evening, you will come home from work at least half an hour earlier, to prepare an easy supper for two, in advance take care of champagne or wine, take a shower or a bath - then you will have a wonderful mood, which will immediately feel and your husband.


6. Avoid the pitfalls!


According to sexologists, the most common trap in a matrimonial bed is the same scenario. Sooner or later, but there comes a period when the intimate side of the partner is sufficiently well studied, and therefore making love, the spouses immediately "take the bull by the horns", i.e., use those caresses that are guaranteed to bring the result.

Think about it: if a person is fed every day with fried potatoes (halva, pineapple, shrimp), then there will come a time when at one glance this product will be nauseous. So in any case, the "menu" needs to be diversified.


7. Do not make your husband a friend!


In general, this is the golden rule for married life. Remember always: next to you - a man! And this man needs to be seduced and conquered every day.

In practice, it turns out otherwise. The wife turns in front of the mirror and complains to her husband that she added twenty kilograms, became like a "cow" and does not climb into any skirt. Returning from the dentist, he says that there are twenty holes in the teeth and generally need to be saved on the false jaw. Or it is accepted to discuss with the husband purchase of an anti-cellulite cream. In general, it does everything that in the first days of acquaintance would never do!

Of course, when a wife begins to complain to her husband, she wants her husband to say: "Darling, you are beautiful!" But husbands usually do not say that. They do not see any hints in your words. They believe in the word. Once the wife said that she is old, fat, ugly, with cellulite and caries - so it is. And who wants to go to bed with such a woman?

Think, you are achieving this?


8. Add some humor!


Well, who told you that sex is serious? Sometimes the best way to regain past passion is to laugh.

Many women's magazines offer simple recipes, such as meeting a husband from work naked in an apron. Allegedly, he immediately attacked you like an animal. I had a case when one guy was the victim of such a meeting: "I came home tired, like the last bastard, and on the threshold my wife is naked and in the apron. I almost fainted: do you really have to have sex? "

One friend recounted this recipe in her own way: she met her husband not just naked in the apron, but on roller skates! My husband laughed so much! The night was amazing. True, that husband had a sense of humor. If yours has it, try it.


9. Memories are your ally!


My colleague once said: "We lived with my husband for ten years. And if some kind of cooling comes between us, I take out our old photos. We sit with my husband in the evening, sorting them out, remembering the good things that happened between us. Of course, we smile and laugh. The necessary fluids pass between us. We understand that we still love each other, and we talk about it. And then ... We seem to be carried away to our first nights, to our passion ... In general it's wonderful to be in love with your own husband! "


10. Flirt!


We know something with you that it's easy to flirt with an unfamiliar man: to smile languorously, to see that in this stranger all the insides will be squeezed from desire, and a million other similar things. It is much more difficult to flirt with your own husband!

Well, for example, going on a visit or for a walk, find a moment to whisper to him the script of your night. And on a visit look into his eyes and unnoticed by others, draw your foot over it (this is usually done by some sexual heroines in the film - probably not in vain), or stroke the knee with a knob, and then move it higher. Do I need to teach you!

Do not miss the opportunity to dance. Say compliments, laugh at his jokes, kiss in your ear - in general, you know something of your husband, like flaky! And the result will certainly be!

Remember : your passion has not gone away! Simply, she was covered with everyday problems. Blow off the dust and enjoy life!