When a girl and a young man get married, they hardly think about a possible divorce. However, at times, circumstances in the future are such that divorce is simply necessary to stop quarrels in the family that lead to depression and alienation of husband and wife.
If, for a man and a woman, divorce is often a relief from the tormenting relationship, the impact of divorce on children can be damaging enough to their mental and emotional health, which may affect their future life. Even very young children feel when the psychological atmosphere in the family is changing, the spleen and depression are instantly transmitted to them. To protect children from moral trauma, parents should be treated with a civilized approach to divorce.
The first thing to do is to tell you about your decision, to conceal and pull with it is not worth it. If the child is not yet six, then it can be said that the father (or mother) will now only come to visit or the baby will go to visit him / her. If the child is older, you can already explain what the problem is, that mom and dad can not live together and want to live separately. Of course, such a truthful conversation does not exclude the influence of divorce on the child, but it is much better if he learns the truth in advance and from his parents, and not from someone else.
As a rule, children and adolescents are afraid of divorce because they do not understand how their own life will develop, what kind of relationship will be between them and their parents. In order to preserve the child's sense of security, one should immediately tell how and who will take care of him.
It is very important to understand the state of the child in order to support him when it is necessary. Perhaps this will require the help of specialists. Small children, if they are two or four years old, their fright at the changing atmosphere is manifested in the form of depression, constant crying, and some even have a stop in development.
Children a little older do not only feel the change in the relationship between mom and dad, but they can quite understand what is the reason for these changes. They can begin to protest against the divorce, this can manifest itself in the form of unwillingness to communicate with parents, isolation or backlog in school. It is necessary to help the child to adapt. With the child should be more communicate and other family members, and friends of the parents, and his own friends. You can have a pet that distracts the child and he will forget about family quarrels.
Children 11-16 years old react to divorce, as a rule, by protest. They can be closed and aggressive, contact a bad company. They understand why there are changes in the family, but they do not want to put up with it. With this already almost adult child it is necessary and to talk in an adult way. It is necessary to talk about the difficulties that parents could not overcome and therefore divorce, share the feelings and feelings that exist at the moment. Well, if you talk with the child will be both parents. One parent can not cope with this. It should be remembered that the child feels everything and reacts to divorce in this way, he just tries to adapt to the new conditions of life. If you help a child cope with his oppressed condition, then the child will help to survive this difficult situation.
It is already known that boys who grow up without a father or without sufficient attention, acquire a "female" type of behavior or they have a misconception about the behavior of a man. Men's behavior is opposed to the female and they do not react to the mother's words. Usually such boys are less purposeful, immature, less initiative, they do not know how to sympathize and sometimes are unbalanced to the full extent, because they do not know how to control their behavior. Performing paternal duties for such men is much more difficult.
Girls who grow up without a father can not correctly form a notion of masculinity, which means they will not be able to understand their husbands and sons, which will affect her role as wife and mother. The father's love is important for her self-confidence, for her self-awareness and the formation of femininity.