A close friend or an image on a movie screen - somehow, sometimes many of us are attracted to a woman, and we need to admit it before we talk about it. Female homosexuality, love of a woman and sexual attraction have always attracted extraneous views.
I went crazy - I need it
In ladies' forums on the Net, no, no, and you will meet a panic recognition: "I fell in love with a woman, what should I do?" And often these ladies are adults, married, with children, quite happy in family life and realized in the profession. "I'm 29 years old, I have a five-year-old child and husband, we are married for 7 years. And now I'm very attached to a woman, a colleague at work. I think about her very often, about female homosexuality, love for a woman, I want to communicate with her constantly, I want her caress, love ... "
"I think I fell in love with a woman. We met on the web, talked on the Internet for a long time. We live at a distance of half a planet from each other. Now she flew, and we managed to meet in real life. I am very impressed by this meeting. And tonight something absolutely puzzled me: during my intimacy with my husband, I suddenly realized that instead of my husband I imagine myself - her! "Or even so:" A female boss at work constantly showed signs of attention to me, flirting, touching, undressing ... I recently realized that I fell in love with her - and I feel such feelings and such a sexual attraction, which I had never known before ... "
The unfamiliar always scares
And in itself - frightens doubly: in a familiar, inhabited and cozy soul suddenly found a dark closet with something unauthorized, how can I not be frightened? Therefore, we often do not dare to call this complex and subtle feeling towards a woman of homosexuality, the love of a woman. We put it into its components, we seek in it friendly warmth, admiration for someone else's beauty and strength of character, a vague unaddressed tenderness, finally, just a personal "foolishness" and a seasonal lack of heat ... Someone, by testing harmony with algebra, female homosexuality, love for woman, part with a frightening confession "I fell in love with a woman" forever. Someone pushes the feeling to the very bottom of the soul, where it flutters with fish at every new encounter with the object of strange passion. And someone decides to go to the end - and this ends with a sexual contact, often single, less likely to develop into a long-term relationship.
According to various statistics , female homosexuality, love of a woman and sexual intercourse, at least once in life, had only 1 to 2 percent of men and women. However, statistics on intimate issues are very unreliable: people are often simply not inclined to admit that they would prefer to forget because of upbringing and social attitudes. But the information that can be found, suggests that to be in bed with a woman more inclined to two categories of representatives of the weaker sex.
Firstly, these are young girls, often female students. They are motivated by curiosity and the thirst for experimentation, and often the convergence, female homosexuality, love for women is facilitated by cramped living conditions (dormitories, rented apartments for several people). In addition, for them it is a way to gain sensual experience if it is a question of a relationship with a woman more mature: remember how in the "Dangerous Liaisons" Marquise de Merthey "instructs" the young Cecil de Volange, not hesitating to move from theory to practice.
Secondly , they are mature women - often they realize the attraction to their gender after thirty or forty years. The story of actress Cynthia Nixon (Miranda from "Sex and the City") is known, which after her divorce with her husband started an affair with a woman, Cristina Marinoni, and is now very happy. It does not matter whether such a connection took place or remained in the imagination - it is these sudden feelings that worry us the most. Of course, following the dictates of the heart and rewriting the book of your life from a clean page is highly bold and worthy of respect. But what if I do not want to reconsider my sexual preferences, destroy my family and start a new life from scratch, which seems tempting, but hopeless? My girlfriend, who had an affair with a girl in her early youth, somehow confessed that most of all in such connections depresses their hopelessness. And it's not even about the attitude of our far from tolerant society to same-sex unions, rather - about the understanding that such a connection is something other than a romance with a man, and to build a new unusual love story is completely different. And if you understand, female homosexuality, love for a woman is it? Where do these, far from sisterly feelings for a friend come from?
Happiness is when you are understood
If to speculate speculatively - to fall in love with a woman we have more chances than a man. It so happened that almost all the canons of beauty are associated with the female body: it was most often represented by artists, poets sang, photographers captured. Remember the old cinematograph: in most cases, actresses were required to be eye-popping beauties, and from male actors, it was enough to look a little more like a monkey. Now this ratio has changed, but if you do not look specifically, then images of beautiful women can be found for any arbitrary day more than smart men. How to resist such an abundance of beauty? And then - you can and confuse admiration with female homosexuality, love for a woman.
But it's not just aesthetic feelings. Female sexuality is very different from the male, and in the concept of satisfaction we invest more than the number of orgasms per unit of time. Female sexual satisfaction consists of physical enjoyment and so-called satisfaction, that is, satisfaction with relationships, obtaining from the partner a sufficient amount of affection and attention. A woman can be happy in a marriage, even if she is dissatisfied physically, if she has enough satisfaction. And if there is neither that nor another - it tries to satisfy the need for attention on the side.
Where are we going , if we do not get enough attention from a partner, if we do not have the opportunity to talk with him, discuss business, cry in a vest? That's right - to a friend. In the absence of a culture of treatment to a psychologist, the girlfriend becomes the first and main therapist. And getting from her much needed attention and understanding, we relax and decide that we can not find a more sensitive person in life. Trust - the basis of intimacy - in the relationship of two close friends is more developed than ever. The expression of this trust is usually the touch, which is already a lot in the relationship between us. In the female culture, hugs, kisses, and touches are considered more acceptable than in the masculine - so girls already from a youth prepare for the roles of mothers, who need to be able to maintain tactile contact with the child.
And where the tactile contact - there and sexual arousal. The human body does not recognize whose touch it is - male or female. Even in the massage room under the hands of a specialist you can feel the excitement, not to mention the tenderness to a close friend, whom we trust. The awakened sexuality of half asleep tries to figure out who to send the lust to - and discovers a beautiful and affectionate woman next to whom the touch of us turns out to excite. And we strive to connect this non-objective, in fact, desire with attraction to a specific person, although in fact it is not quite so, just the body relaxed and reacted to affection.
In fact, falling in love as a feeling , complex and difficult, has no gender. You can fall in love not only with a person, but also with a thing, in a business, in a city or a country ... Another question is that not all varieties of this feeling are socially acceptable. The decision to link one's life with a new person automatically translates our connection to the level of society, whether we like it or not. Relations, arbitrarily secret, are joint plans for the future, and constant consideration of the interests of the partner, and allocation of a considerable amount of time for him ... If you are not ready for this - and it does not matter what kind of relationship you are talking about, with a man or with a woman - then, perhaps, the only way out will be to make your feeling a jewel that will be stored in the far box of your heart. Women in this respect are richer than men: it's easier for us to survive novels only in our imagination, and we distinguish much more than shades of feelings. And maybe this is an unknown feeling - just a "bell" that you want to change something in your life, to find your own way? Only and to search it it is necessary, certainly, not in bed.
In any case, the relationship of two women can move to a new stage only if one of the girlfriends turns out to be more resolute and liberated - because, for example, she has the appropriate experience. It should be noted that open lesbians, unlike most men, usually build a ritual of courtship precisely on the "friendly" scheme "trust - physical contact - sexual intercourse", and they feel good which woman needs support right now. And they really can be good friends - just do not hide their true intentions.
The sweetness of the forbidden fruit
Touching on such a delicate subject, one can not help but recall the peculiar attitude of quite heterosexual men and women towards the culture of sex minorities. It's no secret that other gentlemen are excited by porn movies with lesbian scenes, in addition, they sometimes do not consider betraying a partner, if she committed it with a woman. Well, the ladies in turn often are interested in gay culture, read relevant magazines, watch movies. There is even a whole layer of online literature under the general name of slash - these are texts about homosexual relationships with a lot of intimate scenes, with the participation of characters invented by the author or already known. Most women write and read it, again often mature, with families and children. In what for us the attraction of homosexual relations of the opposite sex?
The attractiveness of lesbian scenes for the stronger sex is about the same kind as their excitement when watching female masturbation. Such scenes - this is a kind of female mystery of female homosexuality, love for a woman, which is usually not allowed to men. Looking at them, obviously or secretly, a man experiences an excitement, which we always have something to do with forbidden things. To be admitted into the scene of love of two women, the man practically has no chance, and nothing so drives these hunters and conquerors as the unattainability of the goal.
But for ladies who love books and films about gays, the motivation is completely different. There are many women who are unhappy with themselves, with their bodies. Therefore, love scenes involving attractive women cause them displeasure. The relationship between two beautiful men, in whom there is love, and romance, and an erotic attraction, give them everything they are used to getting from reading books and watching love films - only without the participation of a potential rival. I add that when watching gay porn, women often present themselves in the place of each of the men, which gives them the opportunity to try on themselves and the "passive" and "active" role - in heterosexual porn it is not always possible.
The curious conclusion is that our inclination to admire the beauty of another woman, to feel tenderness and admiration for her, testifies to the fact that we are happy with our appearance and attractiveness to the same extent, we do not feel envy and desire to get rid of the rival. If, of course, the attraction to women is not associated with disappointment in men, as happens in many bisexual women and lesbians. In general, a woman who loves herself and to others, especially beautiful representatives of her gender, experiences something like falling in love - about the same as that she gives life in general. Women's beauty is an integral part of the beauty of the world. So why not relax and just not admire it - without any backbone?